Before We Begin…

Feeling like you’re barely keeping your head above water? Wondering if you’re doing this whole motherhood thing “right”? You’re not alone.

By the way dads - can I be clear: this isn’t about downplaying the challenges that you face - parenting is hard for everyone. But as a mum myself, it’s obviously the only perspective I know firsthand, and I’ve come to understand the amazing kind of strength that we mums often discover within ourselves.

Motherhood has a way of making even the strongest women question themselves. It’s often in those quiet moments - the long nights, through the hidden tears, frustrations and worries - that you start to wonder if you’re doing enough, or if you’re even doing it right.

This blog is for all mums who have ever felt that way - or who may be feeling it right now. If that is you - this is a reminder that mothers have always carried extraordinary strength, and that you are part of a very long, very powerful line of women. You’ve got this. Let’s talk about that strength. Not the polished, Instagram-ready version - but the real one.

The Quiet, Unshakeable Strength of Mothers (Yes, Including You)

Are you perhaps reading this while feeding a baby or dealing with a toddler tantrum? Are you reheating the same cup of tea for the third time, or wondering “why is this harder than I expected?” Well then, let me start here:

You are doing amazingly.
Even on the messy days.
Especially on the messy days.

As a newborn photographer, I meet mothers every week who apologise for being tired, emotional, or “not feeling or looking like themselves.” And every time, I want to gently say: Just look at what you are doing.

Motherhood has always required extraordinary strength - long before parenting books, baby monitors, or social media reassurance existed.

Mothers Have Always Been Remarkable

During our Scottish road trip last year, my husband and I visited many national trust properties. At one of these I discovered the story of a historical mother that amazed me. Her name was Margaret Arbuthnott, wife of Sir Thomas Burnett, 3rd Baronet of Leys.

Married in the 1680s, at the tender age of 14 or 15. She then gave birth to 21 children over roughly 22 years - at a time when childbirth was genuinely dangerous for both mothers and babies. There were no antibiotics, no pain relief as we know it, and survival was far from guaranteed.

While records don’t tell us exactly how many of her children survived into adulthood, genealogical accounts confirm that a significant number did, which was remarkable for the era.

In the late 1600s, the average life expectancy at birth was around 30-40 years, largely due to high infant and child mortality. Margaret Arbuthnott lived to the age of approximately 82 - after bearing countless children in a time before modern medicine.

She wasn’t superhuman.
She was a mother.
And women have always carried this kind of strength - quietly, steadily, relentlessly.

More Mothers Who Redefined Strength

Marie Curie

A pioneering scientist and mother of two, Marie Curie balanced groundbreaking research with motherhood - and one of her daughters, Irène Joliot-Curie, went on to win a Nobel Prize herself. Proof that nurturing minds and changing the world can go hand in hand.

Sojourner Truth

Born into slavery around 1797, Sojourner Truth became a powerful abolitionist and women’s rights activist - while also being a mother who fought to have her son returned to her after he was illegally sold. In 1828 she won her case in court, an extraordinary achievement for a Black woman at that time. Her strength was fierce, public, and deeply maternal.

Mothers in Wartime

Throughout history, mothers around the world have faced unimaginable challenges during times of conflict. They’ve raised children alone, sent babies away to keep them safe, worked long hours, and held families together under extreme stress and danger. Their strength rarely came with medals or recognition, but it shaped generations and left an enduring legacy of courage, resilience, and love. From Europe to Asia, Africa to the Americas, mothers have always found ways to protect and nurture their children - even when the odds were stacked against them.

Strength Doesn’t Always Look Sensible

There are moments in motherhood that go beyond anything we think we’re capable of. Stories of mothers lifting cars to free their children trappedunderneath aren’t myths - they’ve been documented in newspapers, rescue reports, and eyewitness accounts. Scientists (mostly men, of course!) named this phenomenon “hysterical strength”: a sudden, adrenaline-fueled surge of power that lets humans exceed their normal limits in life-or-death situations. While anyone can experience it, mothers are often the ones we hear about, because they are most often on the front lines protecting their children, and their acts of courage are unforgettable proving that when a child’s safety is on the line, love can literally move mountains (or, in some cases, cars.)

And then there’s the quieter kind of strength I hear about in my studio every week.

• Sitting beside hospital beds

• Advocating endlessly for children

• Carrying fear, responsibility and love all at once

A Little From Me, Heart to Heart

This quiet resilience we find as parents often shows up when we think we can’t carry on - when everything feels impossible. Yet somehow, we do. We find strength and courage we didn’t know we had. That relentless, unseen power is what motherhood is made of, and it’s something I’ve known well in my own journey.

I’ve experienced miscarriage and supported my children through serious illness, including moments that genuinely terrified me - such as a blue-light ambulance journey with my eldest child following an anaphylactic shock when my youngest was just a week old! I’ve also supported a child with Crohn’s Disease through relapses, hospital visits, stays, and treatment, while still being “mum” to everyone else, a wife, and running a business. Alongside this, my husband has undergone two major heart surgeries and a stroke. During these times strength wasn’t inspirational - it was just necessary - as I worked to keep life steady and reassuring for my children while holding everything together.

I’m not sharing this for pity or praise, but to demonstrate how parenting can push us to the edge and yet.... we keep going! Not because we feel brave or capable (I certainly didn't) but because love finds strength we never knew we had, especially when we feel closest to giving up.

One of the greatest joys of my life now is being a Nanna.With that joy has come a full-circle moment: watching my own daughter navigate motherhood - including baby loss and a traumatic childbirth. Seeing her grow into the mother she is now, carrying strength, compassion and resilience, is one of the greatest joys and honours of my life. I am proud beyond words.

A Little Inspiration from Beautiful Chaos

In addition to my gorgeous grandbaby, one of the most special gifts my eldest daughter has given me recently is a copy of Beautiful Chaos by Jessica Urlichs. This book is full of wisdom, honesty, and heart, and I return to it again and again. One line that always resonates with me is:

"Motherhood isn't a typical love story, motherhood is the raw unedited version, with all the out-takes, which is what makes it the most beautiful love story of all."

And there’s one poem that always brings tears to my eyes now, as an empty-nester. Here's a verse from the stunning 18 Summers:

"People say, 'Blink and you'll miss it.' But it's when I blink that the images of yesterday dance across my mind. Sometimes I close my eyes a little longer to remember, I didn't miss a thing".

My ‘babies’ are all grown and living their own busy lives now, and I often find myself missing the beautiful chaos of their younger years.

This book is permanenly on hand in my office. It has honestly made me laugh, cry, and nod in recognition more times than I can count. It's all about the strength, resilience, and magic of motherhood, and it’s a gift I'll always treasure - especially knowing my own daughter is now on this remarkable journey herself.

If You’re Doubting Yourself Today

If you’re holding a newborn, soothing a toddler, struggling with sleep deprivation, wondering if you’re “doing it right,” or carrying the weight of life’s other pressures, please hear this:

Strength doesn’t mean you don’t struggle.
Strength means you keep showing up - day after day, even when it feels impossible.

And you are showing up. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

As long as you are loving your child, you are doing a great job, and that quiet, relentless strength will find you - sometimes in ways you don’t expect, and sometimes when you feel like you’ve run out of it.

You are enough. You are strong. And you are exactly the mother your child needs

I see that strength every day through my work in newborn photography Coventry, newborn photography Solihull, and across Warwickshire - in mothers who don’t yet realise how extraordinary they already are.

You are doing better than you think. You always have been.