This very short blog has been started, stopped, re-worded, started again and then stopped again so many times. 

Many of my lovely clients will know that in early March this year I lost my dad.  I've been trying to pluck up the courage to put into words what his passing means to me, but I find that I am still lost and consequently, haven't a clue even where to begin.  I had all these plans in mind to write a lengthy tribute to dad, but when I get down to it, the words won't come.  What I can say though is that I have received so many kind wishes and support from clients and fellow photographers, for which I am extremely grateful.

Tomorrow, May 25th 2019, is the day that my dad should have turned 78 years of age.  That's not old these days, with so many living into their late 80's and even late 90's.  In all honesty, these past few months I have kept myself insanely busy and tried as hard as I can to avoid thinking too much about him, because I'm afraid that if I start down that slope I won't be able to stop for a long time.  I was at the Newborn Photography Show recently when, during a chat with a fellow photographer, the tears suddenly started from nowhere. I know we all grieve in different ways, I guess for me I just need to keep busy and not think too much about it all.  In a while perhaps, they say time heals.  Shortly after his death I had two framed prints made one for me, one for mum.   I still haven't opened mine.  It will at some point go up on the wall of my studio - the place he always inspired me.  But not just yet.

I can't let dad's birthday pass without mentioning him and a blog on my website seems a fitting tribute.  My dad is one of the main people who inspired me to become a photographer.   Because of him, I was never without a camera growing up - I still own the very first one he bought me, the Minolta Hi-Matic GF.  He was a fellow photography 'nerd' - I could talk f-stops and shutter speeds with him all day without his eyes glazing over.  We compared/bickered about digital and darkroom processing ("Photoshop?  That's not the 'proper' way to develop a photo!  You need chemicals and a dark room!") and when I first set up my business he was so supportive and so proud.  

I'm not going to write much more here - I still don't think I'm ready.  I know I've not come to terms with everything yet, but I wanted to mark his birthday with a few words. 

I love you dad - you should still be here, I'm so cross with you that you aren't.  Happy birthday xxxxx

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